One of my most important challenges with clients is to help them realize they’re wrong, and it’s a beautiful thing. I know that might sound crazy but stay with me!
Most of us actually hate finding out we’re wrong. I’m guessing that’s just basic human nature. But what if we believe we’re right about something that’s a) not true and b) believing that thing is actually harming us? In that case, realizing we’ve been wrong is the best possible outcome.
One all-too-common example of this is someone’s belief that they’re unlovable.
Or unworthy. Or that no one can be trusted. Or it’s never safe to relax. You get the idea. These are core beliefs that tend to run deep down in our personal operating system. They color our perceptions and make having any kind of good life a struggle.
As a practitioner, witnessing my client’s realization that they’ve been wrong about a negative core belief is one of the great joys of my life. Their shift might be gradual or sudden, but it’s always profound. It delivers on the promise of freedom in Emotional Freedom Techniques.
This is my professional realm and I’m very comfortable with my ability to help people here. But on another level entirely, many of us hold collective beliefs about the world, about reality, science, economics, human nature and so forth that may be totally false and have a limiting and negative impact on our lives.
These sorts of beliefs rarely come into my work with clients, and it feels a bit risky to me to venture into this territory, but I hope that you, dear reader, will forgive me if I inadvertently step on any conceptual toes.
I’m thinking most about media deception, propaganda, and divisive social engineering that has so many people these days clutching a Victim Card. In other words, negative beliefs we’ve acquired through being deliberately misled.
And now instead of just television, newspapers and magazines, most of us hold a little screen in our hands that provides a non-stop window into ‘reality’ through various forms of ‘social media’ presented by various algorithms increasingly enhanced by AI.
I believe that any ‘reality’ coming to us through a screen should be suspect and treated with automatic skepticism. Did that really happen? Maybe.
It’s very difficult for most of us to realize that some of the things we ‘know’ to be true are in fact simply beliefs that may have no bearing on truth or reality whatsoever. Remember, a belief is just an idea we no longer question, and if it seems like everyone around us is bought into an idea, we’re unlikely to question reality. Don’t rock the boat!
This is one reason I love Byron Katie’s Four Questions regarding a belief:
- Is it true?
(Answer with a simple yes or no. If your immediate answer is “yes,” go to question 2. If “no,” move to question 3.) - Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
(This is deeper. Even if it feels true, can you know it with 100% certainty? Most people answer “no” here.) - How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
(Explore the physical, emotional, and behavioral effects. How does it feel in your body? How do you treat yourself and others? What does it cost you?) - Who would you be without the thought?
(Imagine the same situation, but without believing the stressful thought. How would you feel? How would you act differently?)
For more about Byron Katie’s The Work
Years ago I was going out for dinner with one of my EFT classes. There was a beautiful full moon in the sky and after the waitress took our orders I asked the group, “Hey, what do we think about the moon landing? Real or fake?”
I guess I thought this would be a playful conversation starter and wasn’t even taking a position. I was astonished that some of my students were quite upset, saying “Of course it was real!”
I realize now this was a foolish question for a group like this. For some of them it raised the specter of having been lied to by people they’d trusted. And lied to as part of some big conspiracy. Not to mention the embarrassing possibility that they’d been fooled all these years.
These days I very rarely attempt to convince anyone of my own point of view. And yet lately, more and more people I meet seem gloomy and pessimistic about the future. They seem convinced that things are getting worse. Maybe much worse. Perhaps they trust and believe the people on their screens telling them it’s the end of the world.
One of my all-time favorite questions is “Wouldn’t you love to be wrong about that?”
Instead of things getting worse and worse, what if the veils are being lifted. That’s the literal meaning of the ancient Greek word ἀποκάλυψις or apocalypse. Maybe we’re finally being shown just how bad it’s been for a very long time, so that the bad stuff can be stopped and the world mended at last.
What if everything is about to become much, much better for everyone?
Copyright 2026 Rob Nelson
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