8 Key Questions for EFT Success
If you’ve been struggling with a weight issue – being too heavy, binge eating, obsessive thinking about food and dieting, anorexia and bulimia, or simply chronic dieting – there’s a very likely reason for not making any lasting progress.
Your weight problem is almost certainly a weight solution. A solution for a problem on a deeper level.
EFT tapping is an incredibly powerful self-help tool, but it works best when focused on a specific problem. Ideally we tap on the specific problem. In other words, tapping on general statements like “I can’t stop eating sweets” or “this out of control binge eating” aren’t likely to do much good.
When I work with a new client dealing with a weight problem, there are certain questions I usually ask to explore whether there might be a deeper issue and what it might be. Many of these questions are rather obvious ones, but I’d like to share them with you.
1. When did the problem begin for you? Around what age?
2. Were you ever sexually molested or assaulted? Is your weight issue protecting you from unwanted attention?
3. Did you experience food deprivation? Did your mom or dad use food to control or punish you?
4. What was your mother’s relationship to food/dieting like? Was this a way to connect with her, or try to win her approval or affection? Or conversely, an attempt to rebel?
5. How much time/energy does your weight issue take up? If it’s substantial, what might you be doing if the problem was gone?
And would that be scary or stressful?
6. Is there anyone who might be unhappy or upset if you achieved and remained your ideal weight? Is there a risk of losing connection with someone?
7. Have you ever had your weight issue go away for a time? If so, what was going on in your life then?
8. If you achieve and maintain your ideal weight, is there a downside?
Again, these questions are meant to reveal any deeper, underlying issues that your weight problem might be a solution for. Let me give you an example:
My client’s uncle got very creepy with her when she hit puberty at age 12. He lost interest when she put on an extra 30 pounds and left her alone. Now she’s 57 and starts binge eating every time she seriously tries to diet. The uncle is long gone, but her body doesn’t know that. Weight loss still registers as extremely unsafe. We turn off the binge eating by tapping on the creepy uncle memories.
If my questions uncovered specific bad memories for you, choose one at a time, notice your current emotional distress just remembering it, and then tap on the anger, hurt, fear, betrayal – whatever you’ve got – to reduce the intensity you’re feeling about it now.
With EFT we use a zero to ten scale, ten being the most intense. If you can tap all the different emotions involved down to zero intensity, that’s likely to make a huge difference for you.
Of course, if you have very traumatic memories that are seriously triggering for you it’s usually best to work with a skilled practitioner. If you do decide to go it alone, my suggestion is to commit to really getting that intensity down. Don’t just open up a can of worms and walk away!
My own personal trick is to use a timer – set it for 12 minutes (or whatever) and keep tapping until it dings. Then assess the intensity level. If it’s not down to zero, or close to zero, then do it again!
When the underlying problems are resolved with tapping, weight issues often disappear with little fuss. No further dieting or working out is necessary. Our metabolism and appetite seem to re-adjust to healthier settings and weight loss becomes effortless and automatic.
And yes, this really can happen! I’ve seen it with my own eyes. So go for it. What do you have to lose?
Copyright Rob Nelson 2018