All The Love That Was Missing

“I’ve been waking up crying. I keep seeing this little girl with her arms held up. She wants to be picked up, but her mom won’t do it – it’s like she can’t somehow. I think that little girl is me. Just thinking of it now makes me so sad.”

“Sarah” brought this to our session and I had her step into that scene and pick up the little girl, who seemed to shift from around 3 years old to an infant. I had Sarah tap on the baby and let her know she was okay, and loved and special.  When the little girl was feeling better it was time to find out what was wrong with mom.

In the Matrix some part of the person we’re addressing always shows up to work with us, even if they’ve passed away.  I had Sarah take her mom’s hand and ask “Why aren’t taking care of your daughter? What’s wrong?” I think Sarah and I were both surprised by mom’s answer – she didn’t see any problem.  In fact, she thought she was doing a fine job.

This lead to some interesting tapping along the lines of “Even though something is missing, and you don’t see it, you want to be a great mom….but something IS missing, there’s something your little girl isn’t getting from you, you don’t know what that is because you didn’t get it yourself”.

This lead to some interesting tapping along the lines of “Even though something is missing, and you don’t see it, you want to be a great mom….but something IS missing, there’s something your little girl isn’t getting from you, you don’t know what that is because you didn’t get it yourself”.

We asked mom to show us a younger self who was not getting her own needs met. The answer came in the form of a picture. Instantly Sarah could see a little 5 year old, lost in the chaos of a big family - the 5th of 7 kids. She was the second daughter in a family that valued boys, and was feeling invisible and totally unimportant.

As we began tapping on mom’s younger self, tears began streaming down Sarah’s face. She felt such sorrow for her mother in this scene, for this sad, lost little girl. A powerful dose of empathy like this is always helpful to stop taking things personally – in this case Sarah’s long held belief that mom neglected her because Sarah somehow wasn’t good enough.  

We tapped with mom’s younger self for sadness and feeling invisible, and when she was feeling better we asked the 5 year old how she’d like things to change.  All she wanted was for mom and dad to tell her they loved her.  A new picture emerged - just the three of them, without her siblings around, walking together and holding hands, outside on a beautiful day.  The little girl felt really great.  But she also felt skeptical. She was 5 years old and this was the first time she'd ever felt special this way. She didn’t trust it would last and the new picture wasn’t holding up.

So we re-wound time a bit and let her watch her daddy carrying her as a baby.  And taking her first steps with dad waiting right there to catch her, with mom looking on and beaming. And then a scene where she was around 2 years old and just starting to talk, and mom and dad were having a very “serious” conversation with her, while feeling delighted and amused.  Sarah mentally played out these scenes for the little girl and it was beautiful. And it worked! The little 5 year old was able to accept their love and this beautiful new connection with her parents. She felt seen and special and so we re-imprinted that picture.  

Returning to our original scene with Sarah’s own younger self, things had changed dramatically.  Mom was now holding the little girl who was really feeling the love.  In fact it was overwhelming.  Once again, because the experience was coming a bit late in the game for the younger self, she was having a little trouble receiving it.  So I had Sarah take the baby’s little hand and we simply moved back in time to her birth.  

Because we’d already done that work with mom’s younger self, she was able to be fully present and connect with her new baby – and we put the newborn immediately onto mom’s bare chest and allowed them to really bond. The intensity of the love in that scene was even more overwhelming for Sarah.  Again there were tears, but this time tears of joy and relief.  

Sarah told me she was feeling what she’d always been missing her whole life – love and acceptance was flooding into her body and she just sat with it and cried for about ten minutes.  When we reimprinted this scene, Sarah saw golden light around the picture with golden rays emanating from it.  That’s what she brought into her heart and then sent streaming out into the field.

This was a profound session, but not at all uncommon. This really is beautiful work.

Copyright Rob Nelson 2015

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